Firewall

I am not computer savvy. Not at all actually. I mean, if someone shows me how to so something I can, but I have a very limited arsenal of things I know how to do when it comes to computers. I can create documents, but at two in the morning when they disappear into the abyss, my only option is to rewrite them before they are due because I have no clue how to find them. That said, it is computer thoughts that keep me awake at 4 in the morning. Hold on to your hats ladies and gentlemen, Megan Parfitt is about to get techy.

When I was a junior in college I got a new computer. I was so excited. It was sleek and beautiful. Like I said, I don't know much about computers but it was pretty and it worked better than my other one so WIN! It had window's 7 and it was AWESOME!

Shortly after I got it, I started getting these messages on it that said "WARNING: Your computer is not protected." I ignored them. What could computer's possibly need to be protected from?

Then I got a virus. All these things started popping up that I DID NOT download. My computer was possessed.

So I took it to the campus Tech Help Desk. They are wonderful techy's there and they fixed my computer up. They installed a firewall... to protect it from fire... or something... =P

So everything was fine and dandy until I got another message on my computer. That firewall was keeping me from doing something I wanted to do.
There were two options at the bottom of the screen.
1) abandon the task(recommended) 
2) disable the firewall

"I don't really NEED a firewall," I thought to myself. "And besides, I will just turn it off for now and then when I am done I will turn it back on..."

This went on for a little while, and before long, it was just easier to leave the fire wall off. The warning signs came back, but I ignored them.

So in the middle of the night, I am hyped up on coffee and finishing a paper that is due in three hours soon and suddenly my computer is overrun with messages. They look a little different than the last ones, but all these warnings keep popping up and I can't make them stop. It's funny though, these weren't actual warnings. These were another virus disguised as helpful messages, and by clicking on them I downloaded a virus myself... MUCH worse than the last one. I lost my saved work, my computer was completely incapacitated and I still had a paper due.

Here's where I am going with this. Ephesians 6 talks about the armor of God, and that is an amazing analogy of how and why we need to clothe ourselves in Christ, but sometimes I think that it is hard for us to see that practically. We think like our fight is against flesh and blood, and even though Ephesians 6:12 tells us explicitly that our struggle is NOT against flesh and blood, our human minds struggle to grasp that concept. I sometimes catch myself thinking "I don't need this shield, I have no enemies attacking me right now. No one is coming at me with fiery darts that need to be quenched, I will just put down my shield (or my firewall) for a while.

Oh what a wretch I am that I don't take God at his word and use the tools He has given me! Just like I failed to use the firewall that people smarter than I said was important, I sometimes fail to put up my shield, or any other part of my armor for that matter, because it might keep me from doing something I want to do. It is too heavy or too cumbersome. I don't even really know what my reasons are at this point but I know that when I lay down my shield, when I disable my firewall, the invisible things creep in disguised as something innocent and attack me in the very spots I am most vulnerable.

1 Peter 5:8 says "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

Roaring lions are not very effective hunters. In fact, male lions don't hunt at all. Satan is walking around roaring, distracting us like the faux warning signs distracted me, so that he can sneak something else in to pounce.

We do not wrestle against flesh and blood. It's not the obvious stuff we fight with. For me right now it is the distractions of packing, saying goodbye, getting things done. I am so "busy" preparing to do what I believe God is telling me to do that I neglect to "put on Christ". I put down my firewall because I have things to do.

The beauty of it all is that God's grace and mercy are sufficient. He gives us the forgiveness and redemption we don't deserve, and He spares me from the wrath and curse I do deserve. Oh what a mighty amazing God we serve that He forgives us even when we fail to listen to His wise counsel and after repentance, He restores our firewall and our protection.

Falling, Failing and Focus

Well Ladies and Gentlemen,

Two weeks from today I hop on a plane to France. Though, I doubt I will do any real hopping because I am indeed a klutz. My sister broke her foot hopping once, and I am far less agile than her, so I have sworn off hopping.

Walking however, cannot be avoided. And let me tell you friends, I do not even do that well. =) See, God used walking, and falling this week to teach me a lesson. I was walking across a street and went to step on a curb and I missed. I had taken my eyes off what I was doing. I was distracted and I hit the ground; hard.

My knee was all scraped up and bleeding, and I felt like I was five and had just fallen off my bike for the first time. Yes, my knee hurts, and I have a lovely brush burn covering about half of my shin and my knee, but it was mostly my pride that hurt. It was dumb! I have been walking for 22 years, shouldn't I have the hang of it by now?!?! Sheesh!

God reminded me of something though. Falling is inevitable. Not just because I am a klutz, but because I am a sinner. When I get distracted from Christ, I trip in my walk. Sometimes I just trip a little and it reminds me to keep my eyes on Him, and sometimes I fall hard. Sometimes it hurts. The thing I need to remember is that everyone falls, it's what we do after that matters.

If I focus on my pain, my focus is not on Christ.

If I focus on the scar, my focus is not Christ.

If I focus on the fact that I did in fact fall, my focus is not on Christ.

See the point here? Fall are going to happen. I am going to fail (and boy do I HATE failing...) but falling and failing happens for a reason. It reminds me of where my focus should be. God is not going to leave me on the ground if I return my focus to Him. He is not going to point and laugh at me, and tell me to pull myself up by my bootstraps. The reality is, I cannot get up on my own lest I fell right back down. When I look to my Heavenly Father, he will lift me up and walk along side me, forgiving me for my stupidity. All I need to do is swallow my pride and ask.

It doesn't matter how many times I fall, God's grace is sufficient. He has never denied me grace, and he never will. I just need to humble myself and keep my focus on Him and Him alone. 

The Thing About Being a Youth Leader...

This post has absolutely nothing to do with Madagascar. Nor does it have anything to do with France. It's all about my thoughts as a youth leader.

I was never very cool in school. I'm not very cool now but for some reason, I have tricked some teens into thinking I am. Not all of them mind you, some still look at me like I have grown two heads, but I have found a place in the hearts of some of the youth in my church, even if they will never admit how much they love me.

I did, however, do something horrific tonight. I can barely even handle the though of the youth leader blunder I made. I hope, that by posting this blog I can keep you other youth leaders out there from making the same mistake. *sigh* 

One of the girls in my youth group who I happen to adore (I adore all of them, I just really like playing with people's hair and she lets me... so win...) came to get her hair done for the Homecoming dance tonight. It wasn't that long ago that I was getting ready for dances and I know what a big deal this stuff is. I never liked the dances themselves mind you, but I loved getting dressed up! And that is exactly how this girl was feeling.

I know what it's like to know that how you look isn't everything, but also know that you will walk into a room and every girl will be critiquing what you are wearing. HEAVEN FORBID you wear the same dress as someone else. If you are having trouble grasping this concept, think about the Emmy's, only worse. Much worse. High school is more brutal than any tabloid. So I completely understand the desire to look your best at a dance. (Yes, I know, as adults we look back and think "how silly, high school doesn't really matter... but as a teenage girl you are fairly certain that you will never make it out alive...)

So anyway, her hair looked gorgeous if I do say so myself. =P As I sat there though, I couldn't help but pray that all of the girls in my youth group would have a great time, without compromising all they claim to believe on Sunday nights. I know as well as anyone how hard that is and my heart was aching for every one of them. My heart aches as they go to school every day and face temptations that even I didn't have to face 5 years ago. My heart aches for them as they encounter boys who are NOT seeking to be godly young men, and do not have any interest in protecting their hearts. My heart aches for them every day, but tonight was harder than usual for some reason. Maybe it is because I am leaving soon, I don't know, but that is when I made a rookie mistake. (Prepare to place hand on forehead and sigh heavily...)

I crossed into the dreaded *gulp*  

<mom zone>

I am not even a mom. I am not even close to being a mom, let alone being the mom of a teenager. But something came over me as she was about to get out of my car and head into her friend's house to finish getting ready. I started saying all those mom things. "Have fun! Be safe! Make good choices! Call me if something happens that you are uncomfortable with and you need a ride!" The mood in the car changed dramatically. We went from joking and laughing to feeling slightly awkward. I had pretty much just finished telling her how mature she has become and how much I trust her to make good choice and then I go and blow it by playing the mom card. *insert headbanging here* It gets worse. I did the worst thing imaginable. Are you picturing it? She's getting out of the car and walking around, dress in hand, hair all cute... and I ROLLED DOWN THE WINDOW! I don't know what came over me. It's like I was possessed. I yelled "You have my number right?!?!?!?!?!"

*sigh*
I think I am going to have to flee to Madagascar. Maybe she'll forget by the time I get back. Maybe she won't tell the other girls how suddenly uncool I am. Maybe...ugh I am toast. =P

In all seriousness I know she will forgive me for my momentary lapse in sanity, but the thing about being a youth leader is that it's kind of like being a parent, only you skipped the cute baby stage and went right into the scary teenage years. It's exciting to be a youth leader, but it's a little scary too. Everyone of the girls in the youth group has a special place in my heart and I want to protect them from all the crap they will get in High School. I want to protect them from boys and tell them to wait for a man of God. I want to ensure they keep walking in the path of righteousness and hold fast to the truth they claim. But I can't. I have to trust that God loves them more than I do and that He will take care of them. I think that is one of the hardest things in leaving. I want to continue watching them grow, but God has a different plan for the next few months. My time with them is drawing to a close, but I am trusting that God will bring someone else to help them grow, or maybe it's time they learned to grow on their own. Who knows? (well, who besides God)

If you will, join me in praying for the youth in America. Pray for the girls that they will not be tempted by the things of this world. Pray that they will grow strong in their faith. Pray for the boys, that they will grow into Godly men who are leaders. Pray that all of them will resist temptation and set their hope fully on Christ in a world where Christ is far from popular.

The Journey to Africa (With a Tiny Detour to France)

I don't fly very often. In fact, before this week, there were only two other trips in which I flew anywhere. Needless to day, I still get very excited on a plane. Oh, I hide it better, but I can completely empathize with the kid in the seat in front of me screaming "WE'RE TAKING OFF WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" MOMMY DADDY WE'RE FLYING, WEEEEEEE!!!!" while we are still sitting on the runway...

My excitement about flying however is not the point of this. Many of you know that I went to Missions Orientation at AIM Headquarters this week in Peachtree City GA. It was incredible, but draining. I don't feel like I have any reason to be tired. I mean it's not like I ran a marathon, but I think I ran an emotional marathon. Have you ever been sitting in a one hour session at a conference and you go through approximately 1,000 different emotions in that time frame? One minute I was laughing, then I was almost crying, then I was excited then I was scared, then I was nervous... well you get the picture. It was all in the midst of this one session on Culture Shock.

"There are four stages," our wonderful facilitator for that session Stephanie said, "Fun, Flight, Fight, Fit."

(What she may or may not know is that I think I went through every one of them DURING her discussion.)

Let me give those of you who don't know a quick overview of each stage.

Fun: Everything is new and exciting. It looks like a super amazing adventure and it will be great!!!
Flight: Reality of the difference in cultures sets in and you are a little more hesitant... what were you thinking? Are you nuts?
Fight: This is the extreme of the flight stage. This is where you begin to hate everything about the new culture, you are constantly comparing it to everything in your culture and you are literally, FREAKING OUT!
Fit: They tell me this stage occurs, where you learn to appreciate the culture and find your place. This stage seems a little mythical, to be honest. I saw it on a video we watched, but my mama told me never to trust what I see on TV. =P



Okay, so here is my purpose in telling you all of this. I realized something as I was flying home yesterday.
Transitioning to a new culture is much like the flying itself. You take off and head full speed away from everything you know and love. It is exciting, but as you look back you begin to wonder if this was really a good idea.You are leaving everything you know for something radically different. Something that you are not even sure really exists!


As you go into the clouds, the hesitation grows more intense. You hit a bit of turbulence, you can't see what you left behind anymore and all you see are clouds that are blinding you. You dream of home and think of the things you know because you can't even begin to fathom that the new things will really be okay. Sometimes it's just low visibility, sometimes there is lightning and rain as you fly through the clouds, but either way the unknown and misunderstood is uncomfortable.

Then finally, there is a break in the clouds, and you are literally on top of the world. You are above all the clouds that seemed to be choking you and you see it from a new perspective. You realize why God has brought you through this and you realize the things in this new place that are breathtakingly amazing. You know that the place you left behind is back somewhere, but you know you were meant to be in this new place, admiring God from a new perspective.



Though I haven't been to a foreign country, I was thinking about all that I had learned about culture shock and to be honest I was feeling nervous about it, but God, in his infinite wisdom, gave me a incredible bit of perspective as I flew through the clouds. In the midst of the clouds, when things seem bleakest, when the panic sets in and you question your sanity, there is a pilot who knows where He is going. He is guiding you and leading you and bringing you through the clouds to safety.

God has a purpose for my trip. I have an idea of what it will be, but only He knows the TRUE destination. He knows exactly where I am going and the purpose for every cloud in the sky. I am in good hands. I will choose to trust the pilot and have no fear.

Dear Three People Who Actually Read This,
        First of all, thank you. Second of all, I have decided to try and keep this up while I am in France and Africa. Now I know what you are thinking; why, pray tell, do I think I will keep up with this while I am gone, when I can't even handle it here? The reason is simple: I will have more stuff to tell everyone!

       See, every time I go to write a post, I think "Why would anyone want to read this boring post about my life?" But in Africa, I will have way more stuff to share. I think. Ah well, I'll give it a shot, if only for you dear readers. =)

      That said, thank you for faithfully reading the 5 posts I have added in the last 10 month, it means a lot to me that you are faithful even when I am terrible at this. I have quite a bit more to write in other posts, so farewell for now!

Love,

-Your terrible at blogging friend.