Learning Everyday

Today, my sister gave me a gift that made me cry. See, a few years ago she went on a missions trip to South Korea and I took a big jar, decorated it and wrote "Dimes for Korea" on it along with her goal. We put spare change and and anonymous donations in it to help her raise money for her trip. Today she brought it downstairs, with money that I can only imagine she was saving, and gave it to me so that we could start collecting money for my trip to Africa. Her generosity made me cry, not only because I knew she had been saving it, but also because it made me realize that I am a terrible reciever.

What I mean is, I hate taking things from people, especially money, even if I earned it. I know that sounds weird, but I just always feel like their hard earned money could go to something better. As she gave me the jar, my first instinct was to say "Oh no Jess, I couldn't take that!" but just as I was about to open my mouth that still small voice said "Who are you to not allow Me to work in people's hearts and lives through this?" My pride could be standing in the way of allowing God to show his power, and his work in others lives.  I can honestly say that I never considered being a good receiver to be just as vital as being a good giver. I need to accept others people's gifts because ultimately they are gifts from God. Just like I view my possessions as a temporary loan from God, he also gives us gifts through other people and it is just plain prideful to not accept them.

I don't even know how much money I need to raise yet, but I do know a few things:

1) God is going to continue to humble me through this experience and teach me how to rely on His power in other people's lives to get me to Africa if it is His will.
2) I refuse to stand in the way of God's leading in other people's lives. I will say thank you and praise God for everything that comes in. He is in control, He is sovereign, and I will not let my pride hinder His amazing work!

The final thing I learned today is something that I think you can only truly understand if you are in this situation. I always heard missionaries say that they would love the financial support and they need the financial support, but the prayer support is far more important. It's not that I didn't believe them, but it didn't really sink in until now. Though I don't yet know how much I need to raise, and I don't have all the details, I ask for prayer. I cannot explain what it means to me to know that so many people have been and will continue to pray for God's leading in this, and I know with all my heart and soul that without your prayer, this whole thing will be completely fruitless. It doesn't matter if I have all the money in the world, if I do not have prayer support, this is a useless endeavor. I covet your prayers for God's leading, God's protection and God's incredible work in my life and in the lives of others.