I would love to say something elaborate and profound for my first blog post that will cause everyone who reads it to look to God in awe and marvel in his Glorious splendor, but that's probably not going to happen. So instead I will tell you what is on my heart tonight and trust that God will use it in whatever way He so chooses.
I am in the process of preparing to go to Africa for a year and I just received clearance from my doctor, which, if you know me, you know is a HUGE step. Instead of rejoicing, I found myself reminded once again of the many ways I fail on a daily basis. I complain about everything (mostly cold weather today...), I have a terrible attitude sometimes and I have such little faith in God that I didn't see a way I could possibly pass my physical, just to name a few. As I sat confessing my sins to God and asking for forgiveness a loud voice in my head screamed, "YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY USELESS!!!! WHY WOULD GOD WANT TO USE YOU IN AFRICA WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THINGS RIGHT HERE?!?!?!" Unfortunately, I momentarily listened to that voice, instead of basking in the still small voice that said, "I am God. I am not useless. I can do all things and I will do whatever I choose with whomever I choose. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with Me."
Why is that such a foreign concept to me sometimes? When a master carpenter creates a beautiful piece of furniture do we then praise the tools? No! We praise the creator! It is not about the tools used, or even the masterpiece itself it is about the one who created it! I am a masterpiece created by God to do his work. Whether I am looked at as the creation or as the tool used to create other things (which I am both I believe), I am not the one who matters! It is the creator who matters!
The beauty of God's grace is that no matter how many times I fail, there is forgiveness. No matter how many ways I am not right for the job, God is perfect. My shortcomings do not matter because it isn't about me, it is about Him; His glory, His truth, His power and His kingdom. Whether I end up teaching in Africa or not, God has brought and is bringing me down this path to bring Glory to His name. I exist to bring glory to His name, imperfections and all!
Megan, I am so excited for your new journey that God is leading you on! I will certainly pray for God guidance and safety and fun! You are a child of God and I know that you will succeed in what ever you do as it is all for Gods glory. We all have shortcomings but what makes us different is that we strive to be better Christians and ask for forgiveness when we sin. Even at my age I continue to be in awe of Gods grace for me. I am learning all the time that when we choose joy, God blesses us through good and hard times. Please keep us posted of your journey of getting ready to go and your journey in Africa. God bless, Cindy Bennion
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